How to improve marriage instead of walking away...

It is so much easier to concentrate on how to improve a marriage instead of walking away. Living together with someone that is different is never easy. It doesn't matter how long you have been married as you well know.

Unfortunately, there are some questions that need to be answered if you are going to make any progress. Is your partner a control freak that is never going to change? Have you tried being a different person for him or her and it hasn't accomplished a thing? Are you willing to change even more to make this situation work?

With proper counseling and hard work most relationships can be saved. The obvious questions is: are BOTH of you totally committed to "turning this ship around" and going in a different direction? If the effort is lackluster the results will be to. Things may be okay for a while but eventually you'll be back in the same place again.

The vast majority of us are products of our childhood. If you grew up in a broken home with dysfunctional parents the odds are pretty good that you have some deep emotional scars and baggage. You end up replicating the behaviors that you had in your home when you were growing up and passing them on to the next generation.

Many people have so little self esteem that they believe they are not entitled to being happy. By all means if you are clinically depressed don't try and tough it out on your own. There are some wonderful mental health professionals that can prescribe medication or therapy.

Dependency (whether it's due to financial circumstance or emotional issues) is by and large the main reason people stay in toxic relationships. The sad reality is that they can't see how their lives might actually be better if they were to walk away. We all get comfortable. Change is not an easy thing for any of us.

A rotten marriage where you are constantly being torn down is unhealthy for everyone involved. No matter what you do it's never right. The other person may be so bitter and angry about something that happened in their life that they transfer those things onto you. If that is the situation you just have to tell your partner that the situation has to change if they expect you to stay in the relationship. You have got to be firm and steadfast in your commitment to leave if things don't change. After all, you deserve to be happy and should not be exposed to abuse of any kind.

Manipulative relationships are usually a sign that your partner is extremely insecure. They need to be in control because their own world is so fragmented and disorganized. Therapy groups are a wonderful option where you can share your feelings with others that are going through the same thing. Find one and get involved as soon as possible. The support that we can give each other is priceless.

Last but not least: nagging doesn't change people. It may work for a while but they usually end up reverting to the behavior they had before. Find someone that is not involved in the relationship that you respect (perhaps a member of the clergy) and go with your partner for counseling. Tell your partner "I need your support in this" or I need your love" and tell them why the issue at hand is so important.

Remember, it takes work to restore my relationship" making up is never an easy road. It takes time and commitment. Only you can decide if the relationship is worth saving.

Rotten marriage-I am really getting sick and tired of her...

If you have a rotten marriage and the joy is completely gone it's time to take action! Every marriage has its phases. There are times when you can't stand to be away from each other. Then again , there are times when you can't stand to be with each other!

Are there any tips for guys that are stuck in a rotten marriage? Of course! It does take a little work though!

So many guys get discouraged and just let their appearance go. If you have gained a lot of weight or lost some hair there it's tough to backwards. At the very least, make sure you shave, shower and look sharp all the time. You want her to realize what a great looking guy you really are. She understands that working on the car or in the yard is not the time for you to be "Prince Charming" again.

Common marriage problemsusually include a lack of sensitivity. Really think about what you may have said your spouse lately. Were you listening when they were talking to you? Did you really care about their feelings of have any empathy?

Make sure you put some effort into your relationship every day. It's a constant process.

We all put on this act about how we have changed when we really haven't. Women in particular can see right through it. They really don't expect you to be something completely different but some small changes would be nice. After all, they fell in love with you for what you were at one time. Tweaking a few things never hurts. Just be patient. This is a long term process that doesn't happen over night.

Just try to be your spouse's best friend for a little while. It does come naturally after you do it. Show her that you have listened to their concerns. Listen to their suggestions about areas you need to change and be willing to at least give it a try.

Successful "ways to mend an ailing marriage" are never easy. It takes work!

"Mending fences" is often very painful and agonizing. You try a few things and seem to be going in the right direction. All of a sudden you are right back to where you started.

If you need some help don't be afraid to try a diy marriage counseling book or two. Be open to new ideas and suggestions. Your marriage is hanging in the balance!

Common marriage problems for men...

Men in general seem to share the same common marriage problems. Isn't it amazing how much guys struggle when trying to figure out their wives? The main thing every woman says is "I want a man that understands me". So here we go...

Guys-you have to recognize that women function on a different sub-conscious level. In other words, there are some things they all have in common. If you and your wife are going through a tough time you may have to probe a little deeper to find out what is really wrong.

The other thing that women are always looking for (even though they won't say it) is that they want a man that is going to be a good dad for her children. That's what they were dreaming about on their wedding day and the stability of that commitment.

If you are looking for sound and practical marriage advice for men keep this one at the top of your list. A woman doesn't expect every potential suitor to be a Harvard graduate in a prestigious law firm (although it doesn't hurt). They want someone that will be generous with their children (not only in money but with their time as well).

If you are confused when you start thinking about "how to get back together with your ex" you are not alone. Just remember that the little things like flowers and candy mean so much for a woman because they show her you put some thought into the gesture. Sometimes a hand written card means more to her than a dozen roses. They store that in their "memory banks" and go back to those times over and over again.

Sometimes the best relationship tips for men mean changing your current situation and starting over with someone else. Perhaps, "online personals sites" may give you a fresh start in a different direction if there just isn't any hope for your current relationship. It never hurts to keep your options open and be ready to move on if you can't work things out.

Ways to save a marriage-keep your options open!

All too often couples are lost when trying to figure out how to stop the divorce. It really is a tragedy that divorce is so easy in our society. There are truly times when it is a necessity. Unfortunately, a lot of marriages coule be saved with the right kind of counseling and advice.

So many couples come to the conclusion that divorce is the only answer when nothing could be further from the truth. Any relationship can be saved with a reasonable chance of success if the commitment is there. Try to REALLY understand when things began to unravel in your marriage.

Could you have done anything differently to keep this from happening? Of course! Could your partner be at fault too? Sure. Accepting responsibility has to start with each person. We all have short memories and long fingers (as in pointing at the other person).

A good starting place is to ask friends to objectively give you their advice and observations about what you may have done wrong. Ask them to tell it like it is without holding anything back. Your partner should do the same. You can stop a divorce if both people are truly willing to be completely vulnerable and honest about their faults.

Actions speak louder than words. The choices that are made at this point in your relationship will determine if it comes to an end or not. Merely talking about the problems and not fixing them is obviously not going to work.

So how can you stop the divorce if you are already in the process or contemplating it? The simple answer is that it depends on the circumstances. Difficult times in relationships usually happen because one party is not willing to accept responsibility for their actions.

The purpose of this article is not to condemn but offer advice in a constructive way. Accepting responsibility for what has happened is a two way street. We are all human and make mistakes. The challenge is to renew trust and establish some kind of a frame work for your relationship that you can both live with.

If you have had an affair then accept the reality that the special bond and trust that you once shared has been broken. There is no way around it. Many couples never get through it but it can be done. Denying that you destroyed the other persons trust is something that you will just have to accept. The emotional and financial cost of a divorce is never something to be taken lightly.

So many couples come to the conclusion that divorce is the only answer when nothing could be further from the truth. Any relationship can be saved with a reasonable chance of success if the commitment is there. Try to REALLY understand when things began to unravel in your marriage.

Could you have done anything differently to keep this from happening? Of course! Could your partner be at fault too? Sure. Accepting responsibility has to start with each person. We all have short memories and long fingers (as in pointing at the other person).

A good starting place is to ask friends to objectively give you their advice and observations about what you may have done wrong. Ask them to tell it like it is without holding anything back. Your partner should do the same. You can stop a divorce if both people are truly willing to be completely vulnerable and honest about their faults.

Actions speak louder than words. The choices that are made at this point in your relationship will determine if it comes to an end or not. Merely talking about the problems and not fixing them is obviously not going to work.

Search out the best relationship advice you can find and get counseling if you need it. There is no shame in that. Is your relationship worth the effort? Only you and your partner can make that decision. Any couple contemplating divorce is naturally going to have a whole boat load of emotions to deal with. Anger, resentment, discouragement and hope are just a few of them. Be prepared for depression and get some help with it from your family physician if it's required.

Last but not least preparing for divorce requires an awful lot of energy. Look for resources that will help save my marriage should be your first priority. You may fail but in the end we all get one chance in this life time. Don't make the mistake of ever having to say that you didn't give it your all.

Marriage help books-are they all the same?

Not all marriage help books will make a difference for you. The reality is that many couples wait too long before taking any action. Unfortunately, the odds are against you if that is what happens.

If you are going through some nasty times in your relationship it's perfectly natural to be confused. A trusted friend may tell you one thing and then another says something completely different. They all mean well but it just adds to your confusion. So where do you turn for reliable advice?

Most marriage counselors are truly dedicated to helping their clients. Unfortunately, their methods may vary quite significantly. Each one may approach your situation in a different fashion. A lot of their techniques are dependent upon their own training, experience and personal bias.

When reading a save my marriage book it is extremely important to have a sincere desire to put the advice into action. You are paying good money to have someone help you get through an emotional time. Listen to what they have to say and give them a chance to help you.

If you have identified areas where you can change, this is the time to do it. Marriages usually tend to go through phases.

Generally, the signs that your marriage is in trouble are pretty obvious if we really make the effort to see them. A good rule of thumb is to try and read a book on marriage relationships once a year. Think of it as " preventative medicine".

Save your marriage book-Is that better than professional counseling?

Let's face it. There are times when you have tried everything you can to keep your marriage alive. Marriage relationship help doesn't necessarily have to involve professional counselors though.

When you are struggling to keep a marriage alive financial problems just make things worse. Would a save your marriage book be just as effective? For many, they find that this is the best solution for them for a variety of reasons.

The best recommendation is to use the cheapest resources at first. Often times, the pastor of your church may be an excellent option to consider for marriage counseling. If you would prefer to go with a licensed counselor credentials are extremely important.

There are three different classes of counselors. PhD counselors went to graduate school for a number of years and complete a dissertation. They are also required to complete 3,000 hours of therapy under a supervising psychologist. The PhD designation is required for a therapist to call themselves a "clinical psychologist".

There is a lot of debate on what level of education a counselor needs to be help save a failing marriage. The next step down in the educational hierarchy is the counselor with a M.S. or M.A. degree in Counseling. Pastors in a church will also have these credentials through a seminary.

Counselors with this designation have had 1,500 hours of supervised therapy under a supervising psychologist. They have also spent less time in graduate school to meet that level of accreditation. Ordinarily, your employer sponsored health care provider will pay for this type of counseling. Something to consider!

Your insurance company may also direct you to a counselor that has an MSW (Master of Social Work) degree. They are often called Marriage and Family Therapists. Obviously, clinical psychologists tend to be the most expensive.

Whatever type of counseling you decide to get keep in mind that there is no "one size fits all" solution. Often times, the seriousness of your relationship situation is going to determine the best course of action.

If you are "fighting for our marriage" it's simply foolish to pinch pennies at a time like this. That doesn't mean you always get what you pay for when considering the different kind of counseling alternatives. You have to weigh both factors. Whatever, you do, follow the advice you are getting. Any divorced person will always tell you they would have done more to stay married The emotional toll it takes on you shouldn't be taken lightly.