Dealing with an affair

One of the most important things in a relationship is trust. Unfortunately, many couples just can’t get beyond an affair and split up. The good news it that it is possible to come back from cheating. The downside is that it’s going to take a lot of work to make it happen.

Can a marriage survive after an affair if one or the other person involved continues to cheat? Obviously, the answer to that is no. The purpose of this article is to offer solid, simple tips that will work if both parties have really committed to changing their behavior. You can bet that your partner will find out what happened some how even if you think they won’t.

The first thing that needs to happen is being honest about what actually took place. There isn’t any point in hiding things. If you do, there will always be doubts . There is a practical side to this as well.

There isn’t any point in not taking the blame if you were the one that had the affair. You can’t expect your partner to get over an affair if you aren’t willing to own up to your mistake. We all have a natural tendency to rationalize our behavior or make excuses. This is not the time to act that way. Take the blame and move on.

Once you have gotten to that point it’s time to apologize. It needs to be a complete and sincere admission that what you did was wrong. You need to make sure that your partner knows that you are truly repentant and regret what you did. Don’t rationalize or minimize your behavior.

You need to win back the trust that was in the relationship at one time. Be realistic and understand that you need to give your partner or spouse some space. They need to have some time to sort through their feelings. You are going to push them further away if you expect them to forgive you right away. It takes time! Coping with an affair is not an exact science. Every couple has to work it out in their own way.

Just remember that after an affair your relationship may never really be the same again. The best thing you can do is to look at it as if you are starting the relationship from scratch. There are resources available to help couples that are dealing with infidelity. Don’t try and go it alone if you really need help. We all do during the tough times in our lives.

How to fix my relationship.

Before you can even begin to think about fixing your relationship you need to know if you are in the right relationship first. When you are in the middle of a breakup it’s tough to figure out what the questions should be let alone the answers.

A good starting point is are you happier now than you were before when you were with your partner? Really be honest at this point!

Sometimes, a break up or temporary separation of any kind is a blessing in disguise. You may be in such a hurry to “restore my relationship” that your judgment was “cloudy” at best. Things can change, but for right now you can look around and see if this is the right place to be.

You may have your doubts now but you can honestly say that your feelings toward your partner are mostly positive then you could be in a great relationship after all. Don’t let a few bad feelings cause you to throw out the “baby with the bath water”. The chances are good that you can reconcile your relationship with a little hard work.

If the “what ifs” “could ofs” and “if only” things keep coming to mind you need to really think about the future of your relationship. It’s funny when we start thinking like that. If you can’t get over those things than it’s pretty doubtful that your reconciliation is going to be successful.

You can “fix my relationship” by analytical, practical and honest with what is truly happening. “Sugar coating” the facts is never the answer. There is a point when you have to be brutally realistic and go “with your gut”. You may look back on it someday and regret your decision but none of us have a crystal ball. We just make the best decisions that we can at the time and go with it.

The true litmus test of any relationship is whether you are constantly fighting for the other person’s attention and affection. If you constantly verbalize your feelings and nothing changes you really have one of two choices. You might look for someone else. The alternative is to hang in there, give it all you got and keep working at the relationship a little bit longer.

Love is never an easy process. Relationships are messy. In the end, you will regret not giving it your all though if you haven’t given it all to make your relationship work.

Repairing a relationship-Do we need more space between us?

Many couples seem to go through this never ending tug of war. A people person may not realize that they are smothering their partner. They might think that all of us need to be around someone else 24/7. That's just the status quo for them. The other partner may hate crowds and constantly being around other people all the time. Finding a happy medium with this kind of a relationship is never an easy thing to do.

Problem relationships often involve this ongoing struggle more than anything else. The real problem usually starts because the partners in the relationship have a completely separate and distinct opinion about togetherness and space. Most of us probably fit in between the extremes on the extrovert/introvert scale. It’s surprising how many marriages are successful when one person is a complete introvert though.

If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too. The problems come when one has a very different idea than the other .

Steps to save a marriage where the two of you are at the complete opposite ends of the spectrum may indeed require some serious counseling. The most common problem occurs when one person feels deprived or neglected without the other person even realizing what is going on.

The simple truth is that the one who isn’t giving the attention needs to back up and clearly come up with some ideas on how they can be more involved in the relationship. It’s like being an absentee dad or mom. The kids do notice and become resentful eventually. Your husband or wife will eventually too.

Marriage and relationships are hard work. It means giving up some of ourselves to get something back in return that is even more special. When we begin to realize that we aren’t meeting our partners needs and come up with a game plan things begin to change.

If you are the person that is feeling neglected because your partner seems aloof and uncaring you need to check your motives too. Perhaps, you are being a little unreasonable in your demands on their time? Can you really expect them to spend all of their waking hours with you? Is that being realistic?

Love and relationship advice comes in all shapes and sizes. In the end, most of it is just common sense. Being willing to change and compromise is the first step. Until you are willing to start there the process just gets bogged down. Be attentive to your partners needs. If you do, you will never struggle through the loneliness of being alone again!

How to get lost love back even if you made some mistakes

It’s easy to take someone for granted before you have lost them. Once they have decided to leave our world just isn’t the same.

The important thing to remember is that you can turn things around even if the situation seems impossible. Don’t ever give up on someone that you love! You can win lost love back if you really put your mind to it.

You need to have a plan if you are going to convince your lost love to come back. It has to be well thought out ahead of time. So what are some of the things you need to think about?

First of all, recognize that if you had a pretty tumultuous relationship before things fell apart it’s going to be much more difficult to reconcile. Don’t expect things to come together right away until you have really isolated what happened in the first place.

There are all kinds of ways to get your ex back but being stubborn is not one of them. If you made some mistakes, it’s time to recognize them and try not to do the same thing again. None of us are perfect but relationships are between 2 people with very real emotions and feelings.

When you start to think about their feelings instead of your own you have a good chance of getting back together. Write down some of the difficult situations that came up between the two of you. Analyze how you reacted and what you could have done differently.

Once you have had some time to think about things put your “laundry list” in a safe place and look at it on a regular basis. Share it with your ex to let them see how you are make some changes. Ordinarily, they will start to do a little self examination and see some of the things they did wrong as well.

The second thing to remember is that you have to forgive yourself. Sure, you could have done things differently but that’s all “water over the bridge” at this point any way. Constantly beating yourself up is never the solution. Admit that you made some mistakes, figure out how to deal with them and then move on.

You can get love back when you are ready and able to forgive your partner. Don’t rush the process. Deal with your feelings, let them know how they may have hurt you and give them the chance to change as well. When you can finally look beyond those things you can finally start the process of getting back together.

The last thing to remember is communication is the life blood of any relationship. If you can’t talk with each other or sort out your feelings get some help. Relationship counselors can make a tremendous difference for many people.

Get your ex back when it seems impossible.

There is no way around it. If you have made some mistakes and driven the love of your life away it’s time to face some hard truths! Making mistakes in relationships happens to all of us. We let our emotions get the best of us at times.

How to get back with an ex doesn’t mean beating yourself up. It’s simply a matter of figuring out what went wrong and fixing it. The main thing is to have a dialog with yourself and ask the tough questions.

Don't concern yourself too much with what you see as your ex's mistakes, leave that for the future. Can you realistically expect your ex to forgive you for what you did? Be honest! Would you be willing to forgive them if the situation was reversed? You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from.

What was happening in your life at the time when you made the mistakes? Were you going through a difficult situation or is this a pattern of behavior you need to correct? Those are the kind of questions you need to be asking if you want to get back with ex.

If you were being selfish it’s time to change. It will take ongoing monitoring if you really want to get back together.

Once you have had enough time to really examine what has happened and make the necessary changes it’s time to give your ex a call. Try to meet in a place that is non threatening for both of you. Stay calm and focused on what you want to say. Know ahead of time the things that you need to discuss.

Being apologetic means being sincere. Don’t just say you are sorry and really not mean it. Ask for their forgiveness and be willing to forgive. You can win your ex back once you have gotten to this point. Give it all you have got. It’s worth it in the end!