Every couple goes through difficult times when it just doesn’t seem worth it any more. That’s only natural when 2 people are living together or dating. If you have been fighting a lot you may feel like throwing in the towel. So how can you decide if there is any hope?
You will never get someone back if the topic of divorce, seperation or braking up is constantly being mentioned. That is basically admitting defeat before you even start the battle. Figuring out how to patch up your relationship is hard enough as it is. Make a vow to one another that you put all your energy into making things work again. It's takes that kind of a commitment to succeed.
The key to saving a relationship always revolves around the amount of effort you are willing to put into it. Couples break up all the time over some of the silliest things when you really stop and think about it. Any time you are in love you are going to get hurt. That’s just the nature of the beast. That’s also the joy!
Ask yourself “am I really doing everything I can to make this work”? Not is he or she but you! It’s so much easier to point out other peoples faults. Being hard on ourselves is never an easy thing to do. Saving a long distance relationship is even harder because you need that close intimate contact with each other to really get down to the “nuts and bolts” of the problems you are going through. Just remember, none of us are perfect. We all need help with something in our lives!
Over time, couples find their love deepens to the point that just being together is so special. If your relationship had gotten to that point before the problems began try to work at it some more. Very few couples ever get to the point they know each others needs so intimately and completely.
The “trust issue” is always at the heart of any relationship. If you can’t trust your partner any more than there may not be much hope. Infidelity always ranks at the top of problems that couples struggle with when asking themselves how to save a broken relationship. Some couples can get through it. Many others never do. The best advice is to be patient if your partner was at fault.
Are you able to trust them? Are they able to trust you if you were the one that was unfaithful? If you just can’t answer that question affirmatively then you may need to consider marriage counseling seriously or couples therapy.
Finally, we all have to make the decision on whether our relationship can continue or not. No one else knows all the circumstances. Ultimately, any relationship boils down to this: can you and your partner forgive each other to ever make it work again?
Fool proof tips for getting back together with an ex.
OK….it’s happened… you have been dumped! Do you write off the relationship completely or try and get back together somehow? Women in particular are pretty unpredictable. By the way, the majority of the time they are the ones that call things off.
Even though they may have lost their temper and told you to get lost don’t expect an apology right away. She (or he) may have called things off without really thinking about the consequences. Couples break up for every reason imaginable. Your job is to back track, figure out what went wrong and THEN formulate a plan to get back together.
Sometimes, couples break up because one or the other person just gets bored. Men in particular are guilty of not being sensitive to the needs of their women. That doesn’t mean physically guys! If you aren’t taking care of her emotional needs she will eventually find someone that does!
If you want to get back together with your ex she needs to see what she is missing out on by not getting back together. Wear the clothes that she loved to see you in or the cologne that drove her crazy. Keep your appearance up. You have to convince her that you are the best guy out there. She may not think so right now though!
Many gals say that want to be “unique”. You’ll soon realize that they all pretty much share the same mental image of the ideal guy though. So, to become the guy that they all want (and particular your ex wants) you have to start going out with in-demand girls. Not necessarily hot but the ones that all the guys want to be with.
If you see her with a bunch of her friends be a little aloof. Pay attention to her friends. It will drive her crazy!
See how she reacts to you when other guys are around. If they something critical about you does she defend you? If she does then it is pretty obvious that she still has feelings for you. Subtle things like that are the best dumped advice you can find.
A lot of guys don’t realize that there is a power shift when you break up. You may have had the authority before but that has changed. You no longer belong to each other exclusively. You are both independent of each other now and able to come and go as you please.
You may have to change some things about yourself to get her back in your life. Maybe, she kept bringing something up that was a problem and you just ignored her. You can’t afford to go on like that if you want to patch up the relationship.
Become the guy that all the girls want to date. If you don’t have a bevy of girls at your fingertips to call you might try an online matchmaking site to make some new acquaintances! A little jealousy isn’t necessarily a bad thing at a time like this! You'll find an excellent dating site on this blog if you are interested.
If these things don’t work then you will probably have to accept the reality that she has moved on. It’s hard not to feel angry, bitter and rejected at a time like this. Just remember that the greatest blessings in life sometimes happen when the situation seems the bleakest!
I’ve been dumped by my woman-Now what do I do?
Most of you have probably been dumped by a girlfriend or a boyfriend at one time or another. If never seems to get any easier if it has happened more than once does it?
It’s only human nature to try and avoid pain. Taking risks sometimes means going through a lot of heart ache down the road. So what are some of the things you can learn if you are “coping with being dumped”?
Time helps heal the pain.
We all have disappointments and frustrations in life. Let’s face it, life just isn’t fair sometimes. Right after a break up it seems like you are never going to get through it. It’s kind of like losing a job. You are angry and resentful at first but eventually you do get over it.
How can anyone explain the injustice in the world? How can any of us understand why a small child has leukemia and eventually dies. It’s just not right! Can you imagine the pain a parent feels when that happens to their child? They may never completely get over it but they do find a way to cope eventually. There isn't any other choice.
Someone once wrote “that which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger”. If only we could handle all adversity in our lives that way!
Sometimes being dumped is a blessing.
It sure may not seem that way at the time. All of us tend to fixate and tell ourselves “I have been dumped” constantly. It’s never easy seeing the blessing right away that a horrible event in our lives might bring down the road. Stop and really think for a minute: “were you REALLY happy” with her or him?
The bottom line is: relationships don’t end if everything is going well. Obviously, something was wrong or the breakup wouldn’t have happened. Try to learn from your mistakes. Experience is the greatest teacher of all in life.
Women need their space sometimes.
A lot of times smothering your gal is what caused her to dump you. We all need to be treated like adults and respected. Men can be pretty possessive sometimes. They tend to think that they “own” the woman in their life instead of realizing that it is a partnership. Both parties should have rights, freedoms and privileges to love and grow in the relationship.
Guys-keep your distance when you can see she needs it. Hold her when she is obviously upset. If she is really angry, give her some space at first to cool down and get a handle on her emotions.
Sometimes a relationship just wasn’t meant to be.
You did the best you could to keep the other person happy. If “you have been dumped” for something silly or insignificant in your mind there probably wasn’t too much more you could do. Some people are never happy. It’s a losing cause.
Get on with your life and start looking for someone new. There are a lot of very nice people in the world and someone that is just right for you!
We are the “masters of our own fate”.
That isn’t always true. There are plenty of times when things are completely out of our control. You may not have been able to avoid the situation but you can control how you react to it. Never give up hope that there is something better “around the bend”.
Life is never static. It ebbs and flows as things happen along the way. “Coping with a break up” is one of the toughest things you will ever go through. Make the best of it and be a better person in the end!
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