Dealing with an affair

One of the most important things in a relationship is trust. Unfortunately, many couples just can’t get beyond an affair and split up. The good news it that it is possible to come back from cheating. The downside is that it’s going to take a lot of work to make it happen.

Can a marriage survive after an affair if one or the other person involved continues to cheat? Obviously, the answer to that is no. The purpose of this article is to offer solid, simple tips that will work if both parties have really committed to changing their behavior. You can bet that your partner will find out what happened some how even if you think they won’t.

The first thing that needs to happen is being honest about what actually took place. There isn’t any point in hiding things. If you do, there will always be doubts . There is a practical side to this as well.

There isn’t any point in not taking the blame if you were the one that had the affair. You can’t expect your partner to get over an affair if you aren’t willing to own up to your mistake. We all have a natural tendency to rationalize our behavior or make excuses. This is not the time to act that way. Take the blame and move on.

Once you have gotten to that point it’s time to apologize. It needs to be a complete and sincere admission that what you did was wrong. You need to make sure that your partner knows that you are truly repentant and regret what you did. Don’t rationalize or minimize your behavior.

You need to win back the trust that was in the relationship at one time. Be realistic and understand that you need to give your partner or spouse some space. They need to have some time to sort through their feelings. You are going to push them further away if you expect them to forgive you right away. It takes time! Coping with an affair is not an exact science. Every couple has to work it out in their own way.

Just remember that after an affair your relationship may never really be the same again. The best thing you can do is to look at it as if you are starting the relationship from scratch. There are resources available to help couples that are dealing with infidelity. Don’t try and go it alone if you really need help. We all do during the tough times in our lives.