Repairing a relationship-Do we need more space between us?

Many couples seem to go through this never ending tug of war. A people person may not realize that they are smothering their partner. They might think that all of us need to be around someone else 24/7. That's just the status quo for them. The other partner may hate crowds and constantly being around other people all the time. Finding a happy medium with this kind of a relationship is never an easy thing to do.

Problem relationships often involve this ongoing struggle more than anything else. The real problem usually starts because the partners in the relationship have a completely separate and distinct opinion about togetherness and space. Most of us probably fit in between the extremes on the extrovert/introvert scale. It’s surprising how many marriages are successful when one person is a complete introvert though.

If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too. The problems come when one has a very different idea than the other .

Steps to save a marriage where the two of you are at the complete opposite ends of the spectrum may indeed require some serious counseling. The most common problem occurs when one person feels deprived or neglected without the other person even realizing what is going on.

The simple truth is that the one who isn’t giving the attention needs to back up and clearly come up with some ideas on how they can be more involved in the relationship. It’s like being an absentee dad or mom. The kids do notice and become resentful eventually. Your husband or wife will eventually too.

Marriage and relationships are hard work. It means giving up some of ourselves to get something back in return that is even more special. When we begin to realize that we aren’t meeting our partners needs and come up with a game plan things begin to change.

If you are the person that is feeling neglected because your partner seems aloof and uncaring you need to check your motives too. Perhaps, you are being a little unreasonable in your demands on their time? Can you really expect them to spend all of their waking hours with you? Is that being realistic?

Love and relationship advice comes in all shapes and sizes. In the end, most of it is just common sense. Being willing to change and compromise is the first step. Until you are willing to start there the process just gets bogged down. Be attentive to your partners needs. If you do, you will never struggle through the loneliness of being alone again!