How to stop a divorce-Dealing with separation. How to make your relationship better after the heartache.

The odds are certainly not in your favor of getting back together after a separation. There are so many factors that enter into the process. Every couple’s situation is different.

Part of the problem is that our perspective is wrong to begin with. If your attitude is that a separation is the beginning of the end for your marriage it probably is. Marriage rebuilding is the ultimate goal of taking a break away from each other. Anything less than that is doomed to failure. Relationships can actually come out the other side stronger and healthier than they ever were before. It all goes back to your perspective and what you hoping to accomplish during this “rocky time”.

Fixing the immediate problem and not concentrating on the root causes usually leads to failure down the road as well. Being committed to changing the circumstances and your behavior is crucial. This is very much like going on a diet and then expecting to keep the weight off by going back to exactly what you did before. There's a reason why so many people gain the weight back, and it's the same reason there are so many divorces after separation; relationships need maintenance.

Trusting your emotions instead of looking at the facts is another mistake many couples make. Coping with separation is hard work. Sometimes, you need a “fresh set of eyes” to give you a different perspective. Marriage counseling isn’t always going to be successful but it has saved many relationships. Trained professionals know how to break down the barriers and start meaningful communication.

Once you have found the reason for your relationship breaking down recognize that implementing the fixes is a life long process. Some days, you will find it easy. Others will be a challenge. The best strategy is to think of starting your relationship as something brand new. Somehow, you have to get past the things that have happened in the past and move on.

Knowing how to stop a divorce isn’t something that most of us are equipped to do. The fact is that something was broken in your marriage, and the both of you are going to have change to make it work. Just remember that relationships involve people with emotions and feelings. Nothing is static or “set in stone”. Sometimes, you just have to adapt to the circumstances and figure out a way to make them work.

Another good idea is to get some help; there are systems and advice available all over the internet that show you exactly what you need to do to fix your relationship and save your marriage. Try to keep a positive attitude and focus on the good things in your partner. Your separation can be a good time to recharge your batteries and see the bright spots in your life again if you do it right. Absence does make the heart grow fonder and help us realize what we are missing out on.