Marriage problems signs-how to “head them off at the pass”.

Most of us are pretty intelligent when it comes to seeing marriage problems signs looming on the horizon. If you are worried that you won’t be able to find ways to stop a divorce you probably won’t. By that, I mean it does take some serious effort to come up with solutions that work.

Unfortunately, some of the things that we try to help stop a divorce end up creating more problems in the long run. That in turn just ends up pushing your partner further away.

What are some of the simple steps that will head off those nasty marriage problems signs before they get any worse?

1) Reassuring your partner that you will change when you know you can’t. All of us have ingrained habits and tendencies. As we get older we get more set in our ways. Why promise to be something different when it’s never going to happen? After all, some of those things are what make you unique!

2) Telling your partner that you love them when you really don’t feel that way is pointless. It’s just better to face the fact that you may not love each other right now. The goal is to start moving back in that direction. The feelings will eventually come back!

3) Trying to make your partner see things the way you do is rarely successful. If you need some help in this area there are some terrific self help books on relationship you can find. Keep the faith even when it seems like you aren't accomplishing anything. Your partner is never going to understand how you feel unless you tell them!

4) If things have deteriorated significantly the immediate crisis is on stopping a divorce before the subject even comes up. Get counseling as soon as possible. Find a neutral third party that can listen to both sides and give meaningful advice.

5) Be realistic and expect your marriage to have its ups and downs. There has never been a perfect relationship. There isn’t such a thing as a “marriage made in heaven” all the time.

6) Concentrate on the issues and not your emotions. When it’s all said and done the emotions will lead you down the wrong path many times. Stick to resolving the issues and finding common ground.

You can fall madly in love with each other again with a little encouragement, tenderness, compassion and common sense advice. Will the best relationship books help when things seem hopeless? Many couples find that they do. Don’t be too proud to ask for help when you need it. We all do sometimes!