Husband wife conflicts-embracing them to make your marriage better?

The statement above sounds pretty odd doesn’t it? Whoever heard of embracing husband wife conflicts and actually enjoying them? Isn’t it part of our nature to try and avoid confrontation of any kind

When couples get a divorce one of the most common reasons is due to “irreconcilable differences”. Stop and think about that for a second though. Who says that any “irreconcilable difference” has to be “irreconcilable

I would argue that most couples have a few things that they can’t stand about each other. If we were all alike it would be a pretty boring world wouldn’t it?

There is even some evidence that emotional and verbal abuse is a good thing for a relationship. Not acknowledging that there are problems and differences actually contributes to couples splitting up more often according to Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who runs the Love Lab

Have you ever considered that husband wife conflicts usually end up on a good note ordinarily? You may be mad at each other for a while but it doesn’t last most of the time. Stop and think about how much more concerned you were with your spouse after your last little bout? You probably learned something from it didn’t you

Even if you are voicing your needs and wants with elevated voices and anger it’s better than burying those things and trying to gloss them over. A relationship like that is never going to stand the test of time. So how can you save your marriage when the conflict is happening constantly?

The first tip is to walk away from it if you know you are going to lose control. Give yourself a chance to calm down and try again later. It’s better to come back when you know you won’t say something that you may regret later on.

You may need to go to www helping our marriage on the internet or stand out in the middle of the street and scream at the top of your lungs. Do whatever it takes to get your emotions under control.

Really listen when your partner speaks. We all get accustomed to tuning our partners out and not listening to what they are really saying. He or she may be telling you what you need to know. But, if you are not listening, it is all in vain.

Have you made the effort to really understand why they are annoyed? Have you made any kind of an attempt to get inside their world and understand where they are coming from? It’s so hard to stop judging until we know WHY they feel the way they do.

If you need help don’t be afraid to ask for it. A good marriage counseling book is “worth it’s weight in gold” sometimes. Look for common ground and be forgiving. In the end, you’ll find that the times when you just couldn’t agree on anything really did help you love each other more in the end.